首发：~9
i’m dead,
mulan thought
that is why i feel so terrible i’ve died and i’m being eternally punished because i disobeyed my family
mulan opened her eyes and immediately shut them again she wasn’t dead, but she almost wished she were, because then maybe she wouldn’t feel so awful her head was pounding and her cheeks felt as though they were on fire she tried to move an arm to cover her face from the relentless sun above, but her arms felt too heavy to lift
she stopped moving and simply lay for a moment, yelling at herself and the monks for making her feel this way she should never have listened to skatch’s “advice” a smart warrior would not drink wine especially if this was how they felt after
something pecked her nose “ouch!” mulan shouted, her eyes snapping open to her surprise—and annoyance—the ugly bird was staring down at her mulan frowned when she realized the bird was scowling at her, as though judging her current state
sitting up quickly, mulan instantly regretted her choice the movement made her head pound even harder she let out a moan then, when she could stomach it, she looked around, eager to tell skatch and ramtish just what she thought about their advice
her stomach heaved
the fire was out the monks were gone—and so was black wind!
in a flash, mulan was on her feet the clearing was silent whistling loudly, she waited there was no answering whicker or sound of hoof beats she whistled again still nothing mulan’s heart dropped as her greatest fear was realized black wind was gone
in his place was the monks’ raggedy, tired donkey
mulan bit back a scream she had no horse and no food stomping her foot in frustration, she yelped as she realized that her shoes were gone, too! and she hadn’t even reached the army yet
taking a deep breath, mulan steadied her racing heart she had e this far she wasn’t going to turn back now she owed it to her family—and herself gathering her few remaining possessions, she brushed her fingers over the writing on the smooth metal of her father’s sword loyal brave true the words had gotten her father through his own battle and were now a part of her story, for better or worse
strapping the sword to her back, she grabbed the reins of the donkey and led it out of the clearing the donkey’s steps were slow and plodding, and every few feet the stubborn animal tried to stop to grab a piece of grass mulan tugged impatiently at the reins
could anything else go wrong
she wondered
as if in answer, she heard a loud squawk looking up, she saw the ugly bird once again standing in her way the creature’s wings were spread, its head tilted to the side as it stared back at her
that is it!
mulan fumed silently
first the monks, now this bird again enough is enough!
“you!” she shouted “leave me alone!”
the bird didn’t move—at first then, as mulan watched, it shifted on its feet bringing its wings behind it, the bird stretched out its neck as if in mid-flight mulan gasped as she began to recognize the elongated neck, open wings, and powerful stance could it be
“the phoenix statue” mulan ventured, seeing the creature for what it was: the bird from her family’s shrine brought to life
the phoenix dropped her wings and nodded, as if to say,
finally!
“what” mulan said, trying to make sense of the situation her father had told her the bird was meant to watch over her but she had thought he meant metaphorically “you’re here to protect me” she eyed the bird, who gave a barely perceptible nod mulan wanted to laugh and cry this had to be a joke a cruel joke how could a bird with barely enough feathers to protect its own body help her “couldn’t i just have my horse back” she asked
in response, the phoenix let out a very un-birdlike hiss she hopped over toward mulan, then moved past her and jumped on the back of the donkey settling in, she made herself fortable, ignoring the daggers mulan was shooting at her with her eyes
“you can get as fortable as you like,” mulan said “but i’m not going home”
the phoenix didn’t move but the judgment in her eyes lessened
“i’m going to fight for my country,” mulan said, unsure why she felt the need to defend herself to the phoenix the bird’s expression did not change “i don’t need you,” mulan added
this time, the phoenix shrugged, her thoughts as clear as if she had said them aloud
time will tell,
her look said
time will tell
then, with one last squawk, the phoenix shifted again on the donkey’s back so that she was facing his tail sitting down, she settled in, clearly ready to enjoy the ride
mulan sighed it looked like the phoenix was tagging along, whether mulan needed her or not grabbing the reins, mulan tugged the donkey forward she was going to make quite the spectacle walking into the army’s encampment with a donkey and a phoenix that looked like a plucked chicken
but that was a problem she would face when she came to it first, she just needed to get to the encampment
while mulan’s journey had felt like it would never end, it finally did
